CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

The honest reason? I didn’t think I had gone through enough to have it. I just knew I was having PTSD attacks in 2018.

So I’ll write what I’ve been through:

1. Continuous psychological trauma within the family unit.

2. 7 years of bullying as a child.

3. Sexual, emotional and physical abuse.

4. Institutional discrimination, disability discrimination, direct discrimination, I’ve had it all.

5. Medical gaslighting.

6. Health battles – hEDS/woman’s health issues.

7. Mental health discrimination

8. Homelessness

9. And the list goes on.

10. Loss of loved ones

11. Prolonged isolation.

12. Death of people close to me in unexpected circumstances.

13. Brought up by a father with NPD and ADHD who compares himself to Donald Trump.

There’s a whole lot more. . .

I was always an INFJ. I never expected to transform into a sigma INFJ. I always liked my own quiet reserved life, being nice to people, staying isolated, being alone.

It was always survival.

But just one external trigger, can cause a transformation. Because I’m not a personality type. Realistically speaking I shouldn’t even exist. Not with the brain capacity that I have regarding the trauma I’ve had since birth.

Sigma INFJ’s have a dark side, but we don’t use it to hurt others. We use it to change the old ways that hurt us.

Each one of us uses our own most painful experiences to ensure it never happens again to anyone else. To protect everyone.

That’s what we are all about. ❤️

The CPTSD and my health issues prevents me doing that, but the sigma is born out of prolonged trauma.

She was going to wake up.

And tonight’s a full moon.

So here’s a breakdown of my personality:

I’ve loved museums, writing, creativity, books ever since I was born actually.

I’ve always liked to look for the positives in life.

I’ve always liked to help people close to me and look out for them regardless of who they are.

I’ve always loved education. Although I didn’t do too well on most subjects except the ones I have intense hyperfocus in. I have extremely poor motor skills and executive functioning since I was born.

I was told in school I was different from other children at a very early age.

They thought it was ADHD. I was never diagnosed. But the inattentive type. Which is connected to my hEDS I have and PMDD.

So yeah. 👍 That’s the only part of my dad I have – his ADHD.

We don’t have it in us to physically hurt others. We don’t have it in us to destroy other people deliberately but the BPD label put my physical health at risk.

And prevented me getting the support I need.

That’s why I’m mad. I don’t bring down systems. I won’t ever you know, fight people, or hurt people. I don’t have it in me. I’m a sigma INFJ. It hurts us to deliberately hurt other people more than they know.

We just …

Snap 🫰

And that one snap leaves ripples in systems.

Because it makes them think.

What did Carl Jung say?

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge”.

But for a sigma INFJ-t?

That parts easy.

We were born in storms, most people never make out of without developing extreme severe health issues.

We look fine on the outside. The majority of the time.

A sigma INFJ – we aren’t dangerous. We just know everyone’s tricks once we’ve been hurt too much by the world.

And still, the world tries to break us. Time and time again.

Always labelling us, but never willing to communicate or understand us.