CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

Despite suffering intensively with the flashbacks and the brain changes, I went into episodes of bursts of laughter pacing, losing my memory, constant thoughts of feeling stuck and wanting survival in my head.

People just say “it looks like BPD and we can’t be bothered with attention seekers” hence I have no support network.

And that’s why I don’t socialise, work, and avoid friendships and relationships. To be honest I’m not in a fit state to go back to work yet, I can’t wait to so I can finally live a normal life.

I never asked for PTSD or CPTSD/?bipolar (put ? As I’m undiagnosed with bipolar).

Neither did I want it.

I just have to suffer with it. But yes America refers to BPD as CPTSD.

It’s not the same in the UK.

It’s a different illness altogether.

Just listen to Sia’s songs and you’ll understand.

BPD or not; I’m still the one that has to relive my traumatic memories and suffer in silence so if I can make it out of that, I’m pretty much invincible.

I need to get better to go back to work, save up for dentist because I’ve messed my teeth up during a PTSD crisis which is £3200. Then I need to wait 6 weeks for the sertraline to work again.

And then I’ll be dissociative again. I won’t remember a thing. Hence I kept a blog. So I know what to expect if it ever came back. Even I confuse the labels and I’m suffering from the conditions.

So tbh how would I expect anyone to understand? I can’t. No one can.

When you go through prolonged trauma it feels like a brain injury.

It’s just the emotional flashbacks where you age regress was new, that’s why I thought – oh no. The PTSD has become CPTSD but then how can you have CPTSD when you were pretty much had CPTSD since you were 9 months old?

See what I mean? That’s the price you pay for living your life swimming in trauma.

I’m literally textbook PTSD. At a high level.

I always say if a clinician suspects BPD in someone, assess them for ADHD first – people with ADHD have RSD.

People with real BPD have dissociative PTSD which is now known as CPTSD.