CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I keep going into spiritual crisis and have CPTSD alongside.

My dad has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Through no fault of his own. He’s the only person in his family with it alongside his ADHD.

DESNOS isn’t common. But it’s causing me extreme issues at the moment and mental health services won’t understand it because it’s uncommon.

Why me. Why couldn’t my dad have not developed NPD.

This is hopeless.

I don’t mean to affect his business by the way. I understand. I have empathy.

But I don’t want DESNOS because there’s no help for it and being so uncommon I’m scared for myself. I’m in agony mentally.

Please don’t get upset if you think you failed me. I failed myself. I didn’t think I’d be affected. I thought I was invincible.

And England are probably sitting there probably thinking, I think sending her to Scotland to get the help she needs was a bad idea.

I think I gathered that. If it’s any consolation I look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.