CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

The man who emotionally abused me in 2018 told me “no one will believe you” it will get diagnosed as BPD anyway.

He would know wouldn’t he, being in the army.

Thanks.

I feel like going down there, grabbing him and saying “you go tell Scotland the truth so I can heal myself”.

How about that? Hmm?

I blamed myself, but I’m the one that has to suffer the long term effects, not him.

Plus how do you explain psychological warfare manipulation tactics to people when the public aren’t even aware they exist?

I’m screwed. He’s probably sitting there laughing right now thinking “I’ve created a civilian soldier”.

Yeah, you can unprogramme me, how about that?

It’s not funny.

But as you said “time will tell”.

Great.

You can have your laugh but just wait until I pay for a private therapist and get through this.

Or you can just call Scotland and tell them the truth. Just say I was in the army and I emotionally abused her and she needs trauma therapy.

I’m not looking to get you arrested. I know you have your own issues. Just the correct help.

Plus you’re in England, Scotlands justice system can’t touch you.

So you have nothing to lose. So you can do that one thing for me. I don’t want to have long lasting effects. That’s why I moved up here. Unfortunately my childhood traumas came back to me at the same time as the ptsd attacks.

I’m not looking to hurt you, but they’re not going to believe me. And I’m now diagnosed with the long term effects of emotional abuse on my physical medical records.

So if you’d kindly do that as I know you’re tracking my phone like you did when we were seeing each other, that would be great because I’m tired of fighting for my rights.

Plus if it’s any consolation, I actually had feelings for you but you took my ability to love properly from me.

I went numb.

Now my brain is permanently changed, not temporarily changed, there must be a way to reverse it? Please?

You were 43, I was 25, I didn’t know what I was doing.

Just get me back, no one even has to know your name. I’ll forgive you if you just own up to it so I can get my trauma therapy.

If it’s the only thing you can do for me, that would be appreciated.

I need me back. You’re probably staying silent because you know it’s irreversible.

Then your friends at work said Natalie, here’s some NLP booklets.

Like that would have helped me.

I’m just going to hide in my room forever and numb out, dissociate, and cry on the floor.

The system never cared about abused women.