autism
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So my CPTSD is new. My first PTSD attacks were in 2018. My timeline went all wrong. Everything just came up at once when I entered the ni-ti loop. So it really was England who destroyed my brain by telling the police to ignore me in 2018? Right. Okay. I understand why they like to…
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The future is cooked mate. It’s a fried egg on steroids.
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The one thing that’s hard about all this is not the betrayal by the very people who should be supporting us, but the brick wall you’re in within your brain. The brain feels like it’s damaged. I’ve had stutters in speech, pacing, outbursts of emotion, and multiple symptoms. I’m not even a whistleblower. I had…
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Despite suffering intensively with the flashbacks and the brain changes, I went into episodes of bursts of laughter pacing, losing my memory, constant thoughts of feeling stuck and wanting survival in my head. People just say “it looks like BPD and we can’t be bothered with attention seekers” hence I have no support network. And…
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I’ve been to many BPD groups and whilst there, having ADHD myself, I could only see myself surrounded by neurodivergents with rejection sensitivity dysphoria. There were one or two people with real BPD (dissociative PTSD) like me, but I realised when they changed the labels and watching other peoples experiences of getting diagnosed with EUPD…
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I attended the distress brief intervention so I can calm down the troublesome behaviours associated with both types of my PTSD recently. It was helpful so I could stabilise a little better before doing trauma work with my CPN and social worker. I was born autistic too. But people always say “you don’t look autistic”.…
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What does betrayal mean to me? Betrayal is spending the young years of your life fighting for your health, wanting nothing more than to survive whilst having a label used against you. Your health becomes at risk at this point because as soon as you have a stigmatising label on your records, it’s always there.…
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I have a tally chart. Lists of names of the people who have ever hurt me. Lists of institutions that have ever brought me down. Lists of degrading comments I’ve received. More and more lists. Accused of being narcissistic for being Autistic. Real Autism. But, I couldn’t get help from the system in the same…
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Me and my recent ex partner understand each other in ways no one else will. We just were never meant to be together. We knew that quite early on in the relationship. We stopped sleeping together about a year ago, but I knew if I had to leave – because of the 2018 incident with…
CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified 