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Even if I was still in love with my recent ex, I know I can’t be with him. He’s a reminder of a caregiver that caused emotional abuse growing up, although I know it was unintentional, because people with ADHD never received support when they were younger and it would upset my dad very much…
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I was recently sectioned and they said Natalie, you’re autistic and have CPTSD. The issue is I can’t process 2018 unless I actually know I was emotionally abused or not. But it hurts to think back and keep reminding myself about that event because I go into uncontrollable episodes of laughter mixed with ptsd attacks.…
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I was in a CPTSD crisis at the time. (He triggered the PTSD back from 2018, which I never wanted, but there we go), so he works for the local authority and they were trying to call the police on me and all sorts after I hit my PTSD crisis as a way of saying…
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We look okay on the outside. We look calm. We look like we have it altogether. But do we? When I’m time hopping; I can access different time periods. The 1800’s, where I see witches being burned, I don’t feel happy or sad, but I have difficulty controlling my emotions whilst inevitably feeling numb, rocking…
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My mother used to switch on me quite rapidly growing up. She would say “I love you Nat; then “I hate you”. This always left me in pain psychologically and emotionally. Unfortunately my dad with both ADHD and vulnerable NPD, he keeps saying “your mum hurt me”. I think we all hurt each other. My…
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Emotional flashbacks: I find these more severe than standardised PTSD flashbacks sometimes. Imagine a vivid image of someone who abused you entered your mind and you get this sudden wave of intense fear where you feel like screaming but no words will come out and suddenly you’re a small child again and you start crying…
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A little warning before reading. This is not for those who haven’t mastered the art of being alone yet. Settle down. Because you’re about to read something that can traumatise you even more. I don’t drink, I don’t take substances, the worst thing I’ve done to ground myself is gamble but for dopamine purposes only…
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I also have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – which is a little bit different to my CPTSD. PTSD is like a whole other universe. I analysed recently my PCL-5 score: It was 75 a few months ago, it’s now at 68. I am praying I can get the score lower to at least in mid-range scores.…
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The man who externally triggered my CPTSD most definitely has ADHD or PTSD. The thing is, he thought I was a BPD because he only knew me during a spiritual crisis that happens in both conditions. But I’ve always been AuDHD and CPTSD. The additional PTSD on top of the above is the worst. When…
CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified 