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  • NPD. What is it really?

    I sometimes wonder if they can change the descriptions. From the daughter of a father with NPD he meets 8/9 traits. I meet 2 traits. Learned traits. But I also have CPTSD from my father. My mum wasn’t the bad one, she reacted and then developed CPTSD herself, but I just grew up thinking it…

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  • Love.

    Before CPTSD, I loved too deeply. I was always striving for just one relationship – craving stability. A peaceful life. I put love above everything else. Refused to give up on people who had hurt me. When CPTSD hit, I could no longer love properly again. I became avoidant. Someone who struggled to connect with…

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  • Some people want this personality type – because it’s rare: when I was on my psychology degree we had to take the test and mine came up INFJ. I just laughed it off, and said “sure, I’m the rarest personality type in the world – I didn’t believe in it”. Until I experienced the ni-ti…

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  • I dislike being a survivor of abuse. Being able to absorb other people’s energies and sense their deceptions terrifies me. It’s like I’ve transformed into a surveillance camera scanning the environment, awaiting for the next threat. I couldn’t understand what it was in 2018 as I didn’t do too well on my psychology degree, but…

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  • Betrayal

    I sometimes wonder how people can covertly break down an abused woman, shred her core essence, and then keep doing it more and more… behind the scenes. It’s not just people that have done it, it’s organisations. I’m never going to get better, my brain is permanently damaged and people still brought me down. I…

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  • The Man

    One cold blistery morning as I began my commute to work, I came across a young gentleman shivering silently, his teeth chattering, his eyes a shallow grey, sitting in the alleyway sipping on a steaming hot cup of tea. The sun was barely awake, the sky still a slight cobalt blue and the wind was…

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  • Being an INFJ woman.

    I always wonder if that’s how I became an INFJ. I can time travel. But only when I’m in the ni-ti loop. It’s so rare that people will never understand me. Trust me.

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  • Creative writing book.

    I’m so irritable and can’t sit still tonight. I keep worrying about my court case because I don’t like the emotional flashbacks or intense fear and age regression symptoms. England really traumatised me in 2018. I know it will make me unwell, but I need justice for what they did to me. I was praying…

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  • So why take the UK government to court? Because, they refused to acknowledge my PTSD then proceeded to damage my brain 🧠 ever more. That’s why I’m going, because I needed support at the time and did not get it. It’s called justice. I like positive justice that doesn’t use my IQ against me 🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️

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  • So the DWP PIP said in 2018, that their decision was correct at the time and I didn’t need social support. I had a social worker at the time for what I’m experiencing now. (PTSD wise). Yet instead of accepting I needed help at the time, they are still making me go to court in…

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