CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I’m questioning in myself how to do that, because although I know I’m not ready to relive my traumatic events they are currently coming to the surface of my mind involuntarily which is creating a state of constant survival and senses everyone as a danger.

It’s easier to do that as an INFJ, but when you’ve experienced profound continuous trauma and the brain has reached it’s limit, it can be hard to adapt to external triggers which is why I said get me in for trauma therapy, let me face that, before things can escalate further.

I don’t understand what they mean by a stable baseline when the brain permanently changes and you have to try and find ways to deal with that rocking on your bedroom floor, having a brain that feels like a computer is malfunctioning on overdrive, having sudden bursts of laughter and then pacing, then dissociating, then the headache is always there. The twitching in the side of the face, the emotional flashbacks.

How do you deal with that and get yourself to a stable baseline?

They said “we know you keep saying Complex PTSD” but you have to reach a stable baseline.

I’m so confused.

Do they not understand brain changes? This is where I’m getting confused.

Anyone else with BPD experience this?

Or is this a CPTSD or PTSD thing?

Just so I can get my thoughts together and try not to re-trigger myself to the extreme.

This is why I’ve been reacting against them because I don’t think they understand.

I’m waiting for my sertraline to kick in so I can see what symptoms I have that’s permanent from my trauma and work on that.

I was born neurodivergent, so maybe trauma hit me a bit later in life and I have experienced so much abuse in life that it’s a miracle I can still write.

But then look at Hemingway. So could he.

People were labelling him as BPD or NPD when he had CPTSD. And PTSD at the same time.

Maybe he was never bipolar. Doctors have even expressed although his mind appeared to be bipolar; it was never outwardly expressed – except he’ll go running to the doctors all the time with physical ailments. Autoimmune ailments – the consequences of trauma.

A nervous system and brain injury.

In other words, I’m at my stable baseline.

I just have the rare pre-frontal cortex that trauma survivors have that gets activated when I experience PTSD attacks. It means you can write about 50 books because your brain starts connecting patterns.

BPD is PTSD though, but so is NPD. They need different treatment methods. In fact PD’s in general do. Many of them stem from childhood trauma. CPTSD is the conflict between two polar opposites. So it’s like having the PTSD symptoms of “NPD” and the PTSD symptoms of “BPD” at once. I noticed this when reading the PTSD workbook and I thought hang on a minute, but every symptom of NPD is in here, and so is every symptom of BPD. Most people with CPTSD think they’re INFJ’s which is considered to be neurodivergent but most INFJ’s have two opposing personalities which creates CPTSD – NPD/BPD.