CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

So the plan is, he’s going to section me same as my recent ex tried to so I can get the right support for my CPTSD. (He feels guilty in some way; although they have their own issues so not their fault), because he’s an external trigger it would send me straight into ptsd attacks so they’d see them, get me in, so I’ll contact doctors who knew me, so they can monitor me until the sertraline kicks in… I can’t go through Carl Jung’s individuation process on my own. Only 1% make it through the process. I have to medicate it now. I don’t have a choice, my nervous system can’t take the spiritual awakening. Only 1% of people survive it. I’m not Carl Jung and I’m not that 1%. I’m as common as they come.

I don’t want to put pressure on the emergency services. I don’t want to put pressure on the mental health system, I just went in voluntary expecting help, not to be thrown back to square one to the point to prove my dissociative PTSD and CPTSD I have to go back to the place where my traumas are. Get sectioned, get the right diagnosis, and hopefully come out the other side in one piece.

Can I do it?

My only intention is survival.

My hands twitched writing this. What am I doing? He broke my heart. Then I slept with his best mate after we split up when I went spiralling because in PTSD or CPTSD the ending of relationships can be an external trigger for a crisis that looks like BPD.

His best mate said you still in Scotland? I was like yeah? All his mates are like if you get back with your ex you’re making a bad move by the way. You’ll end up unwell. You need to cut him off. You too shouldn’t have been together that long. We tried to split you two up, although you were out of order sleeping with his best mate. I take accountability for that, but it wasn’t planned at all. It wasn’t like I went out my way to do that. No. It just happened.

I know, but at least they’d see the PTSD attacks and do something about it 🥴