CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

So DESNOS is currently causing me issues on top of CPTSD. I should have known.

That’s why I was confused.

I think DESNOS needs to be renamed because it’s more serious than people think it is.

I’ll think up a name but if anyone’s willing to a study on DESNOS – please by all means, I’m available. You might find a permanent treatment.

Pervasive childhood PTSD?

Post traumatic childhood disorder?

Any ideas anyone? Anyone else with DESNOS?

I haven’t found anybody else with DESNOS in my life. Except me. There has to be another DESNOS around. I’m in hell here.

DESNOS is a bit different from CPTSD.

Now I know what’s going on. Ok. So I’m in a spiritual crisis because of DESNOS. Hence England were worried about me dating emotionally unavailable men hence they went really quiet when CPTSD hit. Okay. That explains why I ran away from my recent ex in intense fear. Work incident was a separate incident but that did give me PTSD which is different from CPTSD and DESNOS. But DESNOS has profound mood swings that look like bipolar. That’s what Hemingway had. 😂😂

We are fucked aren’t we?

And no one will understand me. Because DESNOS isn’t as common as CPTSD.

Why did I have to have a whole childhood of abuse. That’s why my dad’s lawyer said quick ring your daughter and tell her she had a good childhood before she goes on one of her my dad has Narcissistic Personality Disorder rants. They worry which is understandable because of his business. Because he has an extremely rare personality disorder. I have to be mindful I know I know. I’m an understanding person. But I don’t know anyone else with DESNOS. The name doesn’t live up to what it means.

It’s understandable why everyone’s mad at me in England. Okay. I have to be mindful that my dad has a very rare personality disorder. NPD.

But I can’t be the only daughter brought up by someone with real NPD unless we are all INFJ’s. Is that why INFJ’s are rare? Because my dad has ADHD too, he doesn’t recognise his NPD but he does the ADHD.

I read my social services paperwork and my brain went flying.

It’s a bit late for that. I think I’m damaged.

England are sitting there going, why did we send her to Scotland if she was going to open her mouth. I think DESNOS hit me alongside the CPTSD tenfold this time. Sorry I didn’t listen to you when you told me not to date emotionally unavailable men. And to stop fixing people. 🫠

I think I gave myself brain damage. And England are shaking their heads at me thinking we were trying to warn you and help you. But we knew if we told you you’d go on one of your my dad has NPD rants.

Yes I think I learnt my lesson. Just a bit too late to the party. 🎉

Does that mean I’m fudged for life?

Because I don’t want DESNOS. I want it to go away. Please? With a cherry on top?