CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

Wouldn’t let me upload all the videos, but I’ve posted a picture below as I’m keeping a weekly log of my scores.

A video for NHS Highland.

I will never understand why Steve lied in his letter, or understand why you are doing what you are doing, but I think it’s gone too far. It’s caused a lot of damage and I still don’t understand- I’m completely baffled why you would think it’s okay to lie in your letter to say I don’t want trauma therapy and it’s BPD?

I’m asking for help for the PTSD symptoms – whether I have BPD/bipolar/ADHD or not.

So when you do that to someone, to hurt someone, I just want to point out that it’s a heartless, selfish, and cruel thing to do.

And I’m glad I will have a voice in court. Because at the end of the day, when you’re going around destroying other people’s lives intentionally you cannot leave conditions like PTSD to become CPTSD and leave that person permanently damaged and then try and switch it back to a “BPD” label to deliberately cause more damage when my CPTSD & PTSD scores are already high. It causes long term irreversible damage to the brain which you’re aware of.

It’s overt discrimination. Especially when services have seen the PTSD attacks but still willing to cover it up as BPD.

You were scared of being caught out.

I was scared of losing my brain completely.

You have multiple warnings but the fact of the matter is the symptoms I now have, I did not have in 2018 when I had my first PTSD attacks. I told you repeatedly I had PTSD, and my physical medical records are full of ailments that are also listed in the PTSD workbook, and for my psychiatric nurse who is supposed to be a nurse practitioner to say “she has no PTSD symptoms” was all the information I needed to know you were intentionally covering the CPTSD up because it can look similar to BPD.

The fact of the matter is both need completely different treatment approaches and having your brain change permanently, gradually over a period of time, from medical gaslighting, to not having a safe stable home, to repeatedly telling you I did not have BPD (unless it’s dissociative PTSD), alongside the CPTSD, to then be told “you just have a personality disorder and a bit of anxiety because that’s your diagnosis”.

I don’t care about the labels. I care about the appropriate help. But I do need that label in writing to access other forms of support I need. There’s no point sitting there trying to cover up long term damage, getting a social worker etc, if you outright break my trust and write the wrong label for the symptoms I am currently experiencing on paper.

It shouldn’t be happening in the 21st century and if you could do that to me, I wonder what you’re doing behind closed doors to other people with mental illness.

I’m a forgiving patient person, but when someone does that… that’s the INFJ doorslam. That’s when my brain starts connecting the patterns and thinks “wait a second”, if they were really trying to help me, then they’d put the correct label down and allocate the correct form of support.

But. They. Didn’t.