To experience profound pain, is to write.
As is to inflict profound pain, is to fight.
Hurt people read books.
Damaged people write them.
I never wanted bipolar disorder type 1 associated with creativity on top of my CPTSD.
I had no idea I actually had it for 19 years. I was gaslit my mental health professionals into believing it was BPD and even the mental health team told the police in 2018 during a manic episode – ignore her, she just wants attention – she’s a borderline. And the police were going huh? But she’s actually got bipolar type 1?? Except this is weird because most people don’t know they have it. And she does. What are you on about. They were so confused. How can you not notice she’s got bipolar on top of her PTSD. Now I got CPTSD. Not happy. Erm no. Love. Discrimination is rifeeee. Thats not how mental health works but ok. You keep judging these labels and one day you’re going to misdiagnose the wrong woman. That’s what will happen. Hmm hmm. Unmedicated. Only noticed when CPTSD hit and I sent a note to Stevens friend lol. Obviously he kicked off, don’t blame you at all mate I did try tell England I had bipolar in 2018 – in fact the police tried to tell them because I also had PTSD attacks at the time and now I got CPTSD I think because I’ve got new symptoms, horrible emotional flashbacks and personality changes that feel permanent like they won’t shift so I bought a shovel on Amazon to whack myself with so my brain reverses itself so I don’t turn into Britney Spears; but then he was horrible to me after. And the CPTSD went pooooof. But everyone’s horrible to me, it’s my normality. They say “you can’t write or study with a mental illness, and I say yeah you try telling Hemingway, Plath, and all the other great writers that. Shakespeare? Just a suggestion. 🥴
Couldn’t my mania I’ve had for 19 years just have come back at a more appropriate date or booked an appointment? Not to mention this is probably the most severe severe manic episode I’m in hence I notice it because I’ve gone two decades unmedicated. Lord I had to have 4000 appointments to get them to listen to me. Lmao. They didn’t listen. Well they transformed me into a tortured genius. lol.
Not needed although I’ll probably be able to write three books whilst rocking on my floor with a brain that feels like it’s been hit with a shovel. Don’t ask me where the ideas come from because Hemingway couldn’t figure it out either.
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