CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I’ve just realised today that NHS Highland really are covering up the CPTSD to try and trigger anger in me because they know they’re at fault.

It’s hard to deal with your second ever PTSD crisis that has lead to CPTSD when people who are supposed to help you are bringing you down only to cover their backs.

The sad thing is, they’re trying to make me angry so I say “I don’t want the support worker”, when they wrote in a letter “Natalie doesn’t want trauma therapy”. It was the lie that stood out for me. Because I thought to myself why would you lie when I was simply asking for the correct help and support?

That’s not what I said. Are they allowed to do that?

I’m now having to pay privately to get the trauma therapy and be out of pocket.

They just didn’t want to help me. I just don’t understand why.

They said “your discharge papers say BPD”, when the psychiatrist said it’s CPTSD. So I don’t understand why they’re doing this to me, especially when I’ve had so many flashbacks and stuff which are scary to manage.

Now I know what they’re doing, I need to work with the trauma specialist, pay privately, get the correct help for my needs so I can be myself again. Alone, on my own, no friends, no relationships, just pure peace where no one can hurt me.

It’s hard to deal with PTSD when you don’t have a support network or anyone in your life.

I’ve never been abusive in a relationship, I don’t need relationships to be okay in life. I can survive better alone.

CPTSD is a complex illness, and I’m doing quite well to manage it so far all on my own.

I can’t trust them when they’re confusing the PTSD symptoms for my personality. Trust is a big thing for me.

I feel somewhat hurt by it. They said well it’s not Steve’s fault it’s New Craig’s fault. Well, regardless – I think I’ll stand up for the psychiatrist who picked up my CPTSD because he was a decent psychiatrist so I don’t even think it is New Craig’s fault. I think it’s NHS Highland to be honest. If Steve never lied, my INFJ in me wouldn’t have started connecting the dots. It’s simple science really.

But he would have written the truth about what we discussed rather than lie on the letter.

My CPTSD is going to be permanent now. They don’t seem to understand that. They just want to label it as BPD to prevent me getting the correct help for my needs.

If Steve never lied on my letter and wanted to listen to me and help me appropriately with what I asked, I’d be fine with them.

But they didn’t. They just wanted to take the person I am away from me and gaslight my experiences and my perception.

It causes damage. Long lasting damage.

I shouldn’t have to go through hell in my brain in flashbacks, to then be put down by the very people who are supposed to help us.

How much does a woman have to fight to get the correct support and help in life before her character is taken from her?