CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

To the girl who was told she was fat and ugly her whole childhood, but told she was “too pretty” to have genuine kindness in adulthood, who was bullied repeatedly, but didn’t lift a finger back, who was pushed, shoved, experienced sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, severe trauma but still remained happy until she developed PTSD and now became permanently broken, just remember – you’ve always been kind, no matter what happens. We can fight this CPTSD together, or at least try.

We don’t need a label on paper to prove it.

We don’t need the lack of empathy from your parents who couldn’t even care if you were dead or alive.

We don’t need the discrimination from NHS Highland.

Your personality always remained the same because you had a heart bigger than life itself and you held on to that heart and you kept it sacred. You were built on wounds most people never survive from. You might feel trapped, stuck, in pain, worthless, and unwell now. You may have experienced more traumatic events, discrimination, emotional abuse in your adulthood, but as long as you hold on to who you are you can heal. We have to keep the faith.

But who managed all those years surviving alone? You.

You were always meant to be alone.

When you feel all the physical PTSD attacks as you write this, and you have NHS Highland use those physical attacks and shape it as a “personality” disorder or “seeking attention”, you didn’t ask for PTSD. You asked for help. Instead, you had your wounds used against you rather than put in the trauma therapy you always wanted.

Fighting for trauma therapy, survival, and the correct label to prevent your CPTSD from getting worse is not a weakness. They think everyone who experiences trauma will develop a personality disorder. Well I didn’t. For reasons I don’t know. Maybe because, being alone is all I’ve ever known.

We just suffer, together, and hope for healing. ❤️‍🩹

Just because your story is unbelievable to everyone, you know it’s valid and true – that’s why you’re an INFJ.

In a way Steve Cargill broke me, because he even said “You’ve had an unfortunate life”, before proceeding to break me down even more by lying in his letter.

That’s just an example of why I like to be alone.

You can’t trust a system that will intentionally make your CPTSD worse like that. That’s not right.