My CPTSD poem – Not at all perfect.

Born with ADHD, I finally accept me.

Except abuse changed my brain effortlessly.

Insomnia and rage creeps up out of nowhere,

Fighting for help is hard, when no one cares.

I used to be happy, have friends and be free,

Now I know I’ve lost myself and no one can see.

I have to fight a brain that feels swollen and numb,

Relive my traumatic events, fragmented and blunt.

The services paint me like I’m angry and mean,

But really I’m nice and creatively keen.

The anger isn’t part of my personality,

But it’s the aftermath of abuse creating CPTSD.

It crept up on me slowly since 2018,

I never had a voice – no one knows what I’ve seen.

I’m stuck in a void I’m unable to escape from,

I cry on the floor, alone and I’m numb.

I wish there was a way to reverse the brain damage,

Except my whole life is over and I have to rely on my courage.

I wish I was helped when I asked so many times,

And now I live in fear, tinnitus chimes.

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