CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

They ignored it. Then went silent.

And Scotland are doing the same.

To hurt me.

I thought better of Scotland. I thought I’d get the right help. But I was wrong.

It only took me 8 years to realise. To realise the truth. It never went away.

Will people ever stop hurting me?

Everyone tried to help me in 2018. I just didn’t see it at the time. I’m sorry.

I didn’t realise the long term impact it would have. In a way I was relieved when I got the BPD diagnosis when I moved here because I thought thank you, I’m not permanently damaged.

But that broke recently.

And now I realise I am. I never stood a chance.

Did Scotland know about this? Or was it hidden from them? That’s the only way I’ll forgive my psychiatric nurse – if Steve Cargill didn’t know about this then I’ll forgive him. But if he did? That’s one of the most heartless and cruel things you can do to a woman who’s risen above things before that were supposed to break her.

If Scotland didn’t know, then I apologise. Sincerely. But if you did? Why didn’t you help me? The brain blocks out the traumatic events. It’s dissociation. I didn’t expect it to come flying back. But I suppose, we don’t always get what we want in life. What I want? Love. Peace. My emotions back, my brain back. If only that was possible.

There’s only one to find out:

An fMRI scan or PET scan.

Analyse the areas of the brain.

BPD will look like this:

PTSD will look like this:

ADHD will look like this:

So my next plan is to pay for one. And check myself. So I’m no longer confused.

This is how you find out what’s wrong with someone.

To be honest, most mental health conditions should be under neurology, but we can only dream right?

I mean put it this way. I’m an INFJ. So was Carl Jung.

But so was Adolf Hitler.

What is INFJ associated with? ADHD.

Both accessed the spiritual universe. Both had CPTSD symptoms. Carl Jung got through it. Hitler didn’t.