CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I told him the truth. About the dissociative PTSD and the CPTSD. He then wrote down “borderline”, “pattern”.

He talked through with me about the headache stuff and how it’s tension, and said I was very clever.

He said “you’ve an unfortunate life”.

Then said “your relationships haven’t been that good have they?”

Not out of choice. It’s not my fault antisocial and narcissistic personalities are attracted to me. But most of them are neurodivergent too. I struggle to date neurotypicals. It never works with normal people.

They don’t think. Thinking is difficult for people, no idea how or why?

Besides I was psychologically emotionally abused by army men.

And they did say “We will see” when I said I’d get through the PTSD attacks in 2018. Then said “time will tell”.

Apparently, psychological manipulation breaks down your enemy gradually physically and mentally.

And then I had the misfortune to experience all my traumatic events so sat in my room on my bedroom floor having my CPTSD personality changes and ptsd attacks rocking for months.

Happy now?

So yeah. Always the woman’s fault. And the sexual abuse in childhood.

Always my fault. That’s why I’m re-experiencing everything physically and mentally with no help from you lot.

I needed trauma therapy, but oh well. Guess you wanted to refuse that so you get the INFJ doorslam and I find a charity willing to help me.

In fact the army guy in question is thinking “how the hell is she still alive, they were psychological warfare tactics”.

Well, I have no idea either but my brain and body isn’t liking it.

And he did the same thing England did when I was having my ptsd attacks in 2018.

Ignore me, and write “BPD”.

That’s why I’m mad.

Now I have to go through torture twice. Because my dissociative/relationship PTSD is back.

And now it’s complex.

And I’m an INFJ, and Autistic/ADHD.

It’s going to kill me eventually so I might as well live with my numbness.

No one survives that level of manipulation. And I’m nothing special. It’s been 7 years. My body has already gone. I’ve got at least a few years left alive at a push.