CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I’ve been sitting in my room, having intense waves of fear and rocking, can’t eat.

Really scared what they’ve done. It’s now irreversible.

They had every opportunity to pick it up from my 2018 letters, now it’s permanent and caused long lasting damage that I can’t escape from. What do I do?

Can someone help me please?

Only Ernest Hemingway understands me.

They’re trying to kill me.