CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I’ve been destroyed completely. How does one forget their whole childhood and live life as a young adult carefree making decisions to help others, persistently focus on education and creativity, then an external trigger sends you flying back into the past where you remember things you couldn’t even remember before mixed with rapid cycling bipolar symptoms?

To be prepared to relive your most horrific abuse is to also die in the moment then be reborn.

What sorcery is this?