CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

Today I start my DBT therapy book. I’ve learned not to trust the mental health team over the past few days. I was avoidant for a few months because of the past betrayal of not being listened to going through multiple PTSD attacks and reliving my past traumatic events. I finally calm down a bit from that and then I read the letter from Steve and it ruined me to be honest. The mental health team in England only met me for 10 minutes in 2018.

They’ll never understand CPTSD. They think it’s the same as BPD when it’s not.

They don’t have a clue what I suffer with on a day to day basis. Too many men have intentionally hurt me in life.

I’m safer single. Better off. I learned that as a very young child through sexual abuse.

I can’t believe I even thought I was strong enough to numb everything out for life.

It was really hard to go to the BPD groups and read the words “If you think the problem lies with someone else then you’re not ready for therapy”.

Well excuse me, I didn’t ask to get raped in my life, especially not as a child, and then I was penalised multiple times for having extremely low BPD scores when they said “we never seen scores this low before”. In periods when I wasn’t in a CPTSD crisis.

Why don’t you just go back to university and study psychology again. Because you clearly didn’t learn enough.

Now I have to try and heal myself all alone for the hope I can finally live – a chance I’ve never had. 💔