CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

Interested in others opinions?

Thank you.

I’ll probably forgive Steve eventually, when I’m not flashbacking into my childhood traumas, but the mental health the team really need to give me a break. I’ve gone through quite enough.

I need support. Not judgement. But if he keeps the BPD diagnosis on there it’s going to cause issues for my brain and my recovery in the long run. I won’t be able to work through my traumas and it’s extremely difficult to manage it all on my own and I didn’t need the council triggering me either, especially when the police have looked out for me in both countries for years because they know what I experienced as a child.

It makes me think Steve thought “she’s a liar, she’s got BPD” – that’s the only thought that comes to mind when I think about why he wrote the opposite down of what I was telling him.

If he tries to bring me down again it’s going to cause damage and that’s not me being heartless. It’s me being brutally honest. I have to warn people because of the severity of my CPTSD and PTSD, not because I want attention. That was never the aim. They have to understand that the circumstances I was involved in as a child were multiple abusive incidents so my body was always in a state of survival and hypervigilance. I think the “manic” states we experience is the brain’s coping mechanisms to protect itself.

My dad has an older daughter called Stacey who is friends and lives near my cousin Nicola and is close to my cousin Nicola, when I talk to my dad they cut me out, completely.

I met Stacey once, found her on social media and introduced her to dad when she was 16 as we are a year apart.

She never forgave me for that. My sister was born in 1991, me 1992. We look alike and are very similar in core personalities. But she’s doing well in life, and I’m not.

I’m sorry I let you down Stacey. I just wanted to meet you. I didn’t know the circumstances between what my dad did to your mum.

They said I had to be strong enough to let go the love I have for my dad without understanding why.

Apparently the police have been wanting to get him for a very long time and apparently I’m the only one that can do that. He can’t see this blog. So what do I do?

They’ve been waiting for me to remember. For a very long time.

Now it makes sense why they wanted me in Scotland. Both police forces are watching very carefully.

“Natalie, you’re the only one who can bring down a narcissist, remove all emotional connection, your dad is not who you think he is”.

I’m being watched very very carefully.