CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I keep ruminating over the letter. My nightmares have started back up, I had another ptsd attack.

I’m angry because he took my voice and a chance at freedom from me, and betrayed me. It’s hard to trust men at the best of times.

I think people are triggering it on purpose now and it’s getting a bit ridiculous.

Fair enough if I’m in the first stages of the CPTSD crisis with the rapid cycling bipolar mood swings – ask me for the lottery numbers like my exes did, but don’t mess around with the PTSD attacks please. They’re painful. And nasty. You seriously don’t want them.

I thought about messaging him on his social media account to ask him to meet up privately and we will go through everything from A-Z together. There’s things they don’t even know. That’s if he wants me to trust him. But I don’t want to take that risk.

It’s really hurt me. I just don’t understand it at all.

He can call me sort it out before he gets in trouble.

My trauma history is 800 pages long. So evidently my “BPD” is caused by trauma. Not my actual personality.

My natural personality has remained the same since birth.