I feel numb. I feel angry. I feel like I shouldn’t trust men. I wanted to trust Steve Cargill but he took my traumas and broke me more than I already was.
He’s not the one with the long lasting effects.
I know my brain is now permanently damaged and there’s nothing I can do about it. I spent 7 years of my life since being in Scotland fighting for the correct level of help and support.
I couldn’t even have that.
If they wanted to help me they’d have given me trauma focused therapy ages ago.
I don’t understand why they didn’t. Now I’ll never be the same again. The betrayal hits hard the most when all my traumatic memories came back to me in flashbacks and physical symptoms so Steve Cargill and his team thought “she’s never going to get better so we will have to write down BPD again, it saves our own backs”.
Was it worth it? Why do men think it’s okay to break down an already broken woman and turn her trauma into a comedy show.
CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified 
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