CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

Why do I get hand twitches when I think about you? Why do I lose my mind when I talk about you? We split up a decade ago.

I take accountability of sleeping with your best friend after we split up. But you got someone else pregnant and paid for prostitution in Amsterdam. So guess we were even. And me and your friend didn’t plan it. By the way. That was NOT to hurt you.

Well actually I had one attempted suicide at 16 but I was with someone in the US military that happens.

Why when I saw you in 2023 you got angry with me when I wouldn’t sleep with you because I had a boyfriend? Why did I keep going into panic attacks around you?

Why am I avoidant of seeing you even though I’m single?

You were the last person I could truthfully love. I was numb after that. Distressed.