CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I was someone who was kind, just suffered from her average inattentive ADHD symptoms and average PTSD symptoms. My scores became worse over the years. I’ve never had anger before until recently. My score is now 75/80.

But looking back at my childhood paperwork, I had been suffering since I was a child. And no one helped me. It’s possible to heal, but they don’t want to help you. They would have done by now.

I was someone who was creative, just wanted to work, kept myself busy, distracting myself with hobbies.

But men changed that for me. The men that are supposed to protect us. Steve Cargill is a dangerous man. I regret opening up to him, he took my sexual abuse and made a comedy out of it on paper.

Now I feel no emotion. Just numbness.

Rocking back and forth in my room.

How can I study effectively when my brains damaged. My books were my only coping mechanism in life and NHS Highland took that from me. For life.

All I have left is the knowledge I’ve learned previously.

My memory is awful, I keep going into waves of intense fear and distress like I’m a small child again, I’m pacing, forgetting things, insomnia.

All I ever wanted since a young child was to be alone.

I was abused repeatedly at a very young age. Abuse is all I’ve known.

When you become an adult, you realise you can’t trust the NHS. They will change your brain and then try and cover it up for ignoring you.

That’s the reality of NHS Scotland. Thanks for cutting off my emotions and changing my brain for life.

I was blaming NHS England, but they were trying to help me with my PTSD in 2018. Scotland chose to ignore me. That was a choice.

But I’m strong enough to stand alone and fight back against any man who tries to break me.

I don’t need anyone in life because I’ve always been alone. Just the way I like it.

I have to ask myself. Do they know something I don’t? Are they trying to cover up for someone? Because they’re making it a bit obvious…

Well Steve Cargill. I’m never going to be stable again. Because your ignorance, changed my brain for life. Surprise. You’ll be waiting an extremely long time because you’ve permanently damaged my brain. 🧠 because you’re an abuser. Cover up. Don’t even test me. Now my dad’s found out. You don’t want to go against a man with NPD. This is only the beginning.