CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

As someone who was supposed to be born on Christmas Day and can time travel through different time periods, my gift came from abuse. Prolonged abuse within the family. I was broken at a very early age, I took them scars and made something creative out of them. I avoided hurting people, always remained nice to others in life despite others tearing me down. When I was raped I didn’t have a choice. The man followed me into the bathroom and chucked me over the bath. I was 13. There was blood everywhere and I remember being confused and in pain. My cousin ended up going to the police. I couldn’t do it. But for me to heal I need to put my trust in God to bring those memories to the surface. There were quite a few men there that night and they cleaned up the blood and more than one knew what happened but they kept their mouths shut.

When I did try admit it, they turned up at my school. Men can’t be trusted. They’ll take the opportunity to rape you if they could and then make out you’re mentally unwell. Why would I ever want a man again?

I know NHS Highland’s game. Unfortunately I’ve been through hell, so they’ll have to try harder than that to break me down into small parts. Men can’t be trusted. They’re the best cover ups there are to abuse.

The same thing happened to my cousin. The police dropped the case because they didn’t have enough evidence. But it happened.

The man who raped me, I saw him more and more after that and would laugh and joke to my cousins saying “don’t think I’m a rapist do you?”. I was scared of him doing something to me so kept my mouth shut hoping it would go away. They were over the age of 17. How many emotional flashbacks do I have to experience to accept that I’m weak. I’ve never been violent. But maybe it’s time for me to get revenge on the men and the institutions that broke me. I think Lara, Denise, and Steve all love the fact I’ve gone through prolonged abuse. Don’t you. As the saying goes. “The devil was once an angel”.