CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

People think manic episodes are all sunshine’s and rainbows 🌈. But it’s the actual opposite. It’s racing thoughts, irritability, goal orientated behaviour, restlessness, unusual activity, a brain that is so painful that just the amount of stress can trigger the mania. Even a sense of threat, can push you into a manic episode. You need to set yourself a plan before it happens so the system doesn’t try and discriminate against you. This is how you reduce the “violent” behaviours if you are one to react. You have to train your body and mind to be able to withdraw from letting the mania react to the people that are hurting you.

It’s crucial. You are not your illness. ❤️

A good way to do this is to set up a blog like I have. Journaling. DBT workbooks.

Mania is brain damage. It shows up on an fMRI scan.

I know you feel fear when you ramp up, so do I. In more ways than one. When it first happened I was petrified.

I’m ready for the full works this time and hopefully, the ptsd attacks subside because CPTSD and bipolar disorder when interacting together can be very painful and a mood stabiliser or antidepressant is dangerous, especially dangerous if you’re on the autistic spectrum and have ADHD. So if you’re in a catch 22, don’t worry: so am I.

Why anyone would “want” these conditions is beyond me. It is hell. I will admit I am fuming with the highland council for triggering it because it’s a horrible illness. It’s not something that should be made fun of or intentionally triggered like that. Plus I have very sore dislocating bones that are so sore my shoulder keeps coming in and out of its socket. Untreated bipolar disorder causes deterioration of the bones. I need a bone scan to assess the damage. I wish England listened to me in 2018. Why did they tell the police to ignore me about 100 times? I’m fuming with them. My physical health might not be so bad now if they listened the first 50 times. It’s a physical condition of both the brain and the body. They cannot mess around with conditions like this. And now I’m stuck because I have CPTSD as well and it’s dangerous to have a mood stabiliser. I’m fuming with them. I swear, they better change the mental health system. My 3000 prior appointments in England for nothing. They even said “you don’t want bipolar, it’s a horrible illness”… oh I know. I definitely don’t want it. But unfortunately I was born with it. Go me. They said in 2018 “ignore her, it’s BPD she’s just after attention”. I don’t want attention. I want my body and brain back you prunes. I seriously feel like getting on a plane going back to that A&E and saying, you deliberately missed it, NHS England can fix my physical health associated with bipolar and PTSD how about that? You chose to ignore it, you can deal with it and pay for it. I did the necessary things at the time. And the DWP PIP still declined me for suffering because laughed and said “BPD”. Don’t BPD me. I feel like phoning Hertfordshire Constabulary and saying “you know that advice about changing the mental health system? Does it still stand? Should I go and dance on A&E chairs in England again until my bones snap even more?”

Do you still need me to change the mental health system? I’ve got court in a few weeks, do you think they’ll give me 2018’s footage? To prove discrimination?

Be kind to yourself. 💕 0.6% of the population have this type of bipolar. Don’t let anyone bring you down for suffering with the madness of your own mind.