CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I appreciate the police because in 2018 before my PTSD attacks started I had just completed an exam at university and scored a 1st in bipolar disorder just for describing my symptoms I always struggled with.

When I felt myself go into my first ever severe manic episode I remembered my education and thought “oh shit”. I’m in trouuuuble. So I had 20 rides in police cars fighting the help to be told by NHS England at the time I was attention seeking and a borderline. The police looked at each other confused as we’re like “Most people don’t know they’re manic”. Well I’m not most people. So they high fived me in A&E when I was fighting for the support and said “If anyone can change the mental health system it’s you.” I took that advice literally because I’m Autistic. And I thought okay. Let’s do that. Unfortunately it’s got a bit worse since then, but the CPTSD and PTSD has affected me the most. That’s what I needed resolved and the AuDHD support, it’s hard having multiple conditions. I’ve learned to mask and try manage. I’ll never become violent.

Sorry. It’s a no from me. You want to “prove” myself. Welcome to mania. I’ll take you on a ride.

So tbh. This is the effect. I did try. No one wanted to help me before. I’m thankful for the help that is about to be put in place now. But my brain is now permanently damaged. Unfortunately.

So excuse me why I endure my nervous breakdown of the century.