CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

To analyse his quote into context from the same mind who understands, what Hemingway really means is, he looks okay on the outside, but inside – his brain was inner turmoil that bled his past traumas on to the page. Everyone forgot I was suffering too.

Hemingway’s brain changed. He went through the CPTSD catastrophic personality change. People destroyed him even more. They broke him into parts. The system did. He just couldn’t speak about it. He was trying to save himself from himself. His father said him writing about his family was “filth”. He was trying to heal himself through his writing, through creative expression. Unfortunately, no one understood that.

After losing himself, his brain felt injured. He realised he could no longer love like he used to, but he was also afraid of sleeping alone – but women triggered him because of his mother. This was when he was accused of being misogynistic when women were just the external trigger of the psychological abuse his mother inflicted upon him. He was fighting to get himself back. To the time, before his brain changed.