CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I can feel myself fading. For a 33 year old it feels like my life is over before it’s even begun.

I only have my writing to keep me whole. Sometimes I wish institutions didn’t slice away at our scars, trigger our internal battles, and cause us to suffer even more. I had the ambulance out to me quite a few times over the past couple of months – for PTSD attacks. They’re not pleasant.

I should never have survived half the abuse I’ve entailed in life. CPTSD is a survival disorder. A disorder that occurs when the nervous system has taken more than it can handle in life and activated/changed the brain.

The issue is, this is what panicked England in 2018 on my psychology degree.

They knew I had PTSD, they said “please study creative writing”.

They always knew.

But no one stood up for me. They watched the system take my home from me, they watched it all.

Bystander effect.