CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

A few years ago, my previous social worker from the NHS England CMHT said “Are you sure you want to be with someone who’s emotionally unavailable?”

I always wondered why they asked that question. Yes, I liked to be avoidant in my relationship. It was a 6 year relationship. I haven’t been able to connect properly since what happened between me and that man. So I just connected with someone. I loved him, I tried to. But my feelings were stuck. Like a bowl of rice. 🤣

And why even after I moved to Scotland they were checking up on me all the time. At the time I thought it was kindness, until a year ago, the contact ceased. I couldn’t work out why. I had a trusted relationship with my social worker.

Because the man who emotionally abused me worked in the NHS mental health team.

They were worried it would happen again and were checking up on me for long term effects.

Battling two forms of PTSD at once is like a battlefield.

Now they’ve all gone silent. Very silent.

Did you really think the PTSD was going to go away?

But in 2018 you said “Not many people are as strong as you, please go to Scotland”.

Strong? You really think I’m strong?