CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

CPTSD makes you relive what hurt you in the present moment through emotional flashbacks.

You’ll see vivid images in your mind, you’ll feel you are “back there”, sometimes you won’t even be aware of it. All these feelings and emotions rise to the surface: for example, when I came out of being sectioned my recent ex picked me up and took me home. I started going into ptsd attacks and went into intense fear and ran away from him without understanding why.

I’ve been broken tremendously in past relationships. When I lived in England, I did really like my ex’s best friend. I just knew we couldn’t get together. He’d help me out with DIY stuff in my house, and one day we just slept together. I was ripped apart for that. But no one said anything at the time about my ex partner cheating on me when he went to Amsterdam, or getting someone pregnant whilst living in my home. Men break you…

Little by little. Until EXPLOSION.

I had a good sleep today. Had to try and calm my brain, I tried new solid foods as my intermittent Dysphagia has been bad as part of my hEDS. Being Autistic means you’re going to have funny physical ailments like hEDS and bones that are so excruciatingly painful, that you have no choice but to lay in bed.

Painful.