CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I was recently sectioned and they said Natalie, you’re autistic and have CPTSD.

The issue is I can’t process 2018 unless I actually know I was emotionally abused or not. But it hurts to think back and keep reminding myself about that event because I go into uncontrollable episodes of laughter mixed with ptsd attacks.

I had to experience a lot, including, work discrimination, losing everything I had, even the jobcentre said to me 3 years ago “Natalie, why are you looking for work?” You have CPTSD because they knew a crisis could be triggered at any time. They said please change GP surgeries until someone notices. But GP surgery is lovely and helping me now. They all trying to help me now. They knew what happened to me in 2018.

I wanted to try build a life for myself because I’m on my own in life. Unfortunately, people are very mean. In general and like to put me down. I’m very kind. That’s probably my issue in life.

I’ve had about 500 PTSD attacks in the past 5 months. I think I’m going through Carl Jung’s spiritual awakening.

The funny thing about all this is somehow my mum and siblings can’t stand me and call me narcissistic. I still don’t know why.

No, I have ADHD. Thank you. So they don’t love me.

The mental health team said “You’ve had a very unfortunate life”. I said I know. I’m fighting for survival but sometimes I get dissociative amnesia where I can’t remember my trauma so think I haven’t gone through much as I have. My brain keeps vibrating.