CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I was in a CPTSD crisis at the time. (He triggered the PTSD back from 2018, which I never wanted, but there we go), so he works for the local authority and they were trying to call the police on me and all sorts after I hit my PTSD crisis as a way of saying “oh look a borderline”. It’s CPTSD. It’s more rare than people think. It’s not the same as PTSD or BPD. They can try break me down, but I’ve always survived that multiple times over but with damaging effects each time. But the police respect me for a reason. Reasons their small minds will never comprehend. Because I don’t react in ways that will leave me with a criminal record. Because my first relationship was with someone from the US military for seven months. He ended up sleeping with my friend at the time though. And I didn’t know he had a wife at home. My mum at the time said “Please find someone your own age. Not my daughter”. I got very upset at this because I had a lot of fun on the airbase. I was not happy. Neurotypicals don’t like me.

He said a few things:

“That explains why you’re still with him” – talking about my ex partner.

I gave him a note, hoping he would call me to explain all this. But he put me down instead. That was the only intention I had. I see firsthand how ADHD can cause contribute to NPD/BPD or even CPTSD and PTSD so I was trying to make sure he didn’t hurt me so I wouldn’t fall into a full blown crisis. Unfortunately, that was inevitable.

Why did I think he has ADHD? It was obvious. But his put downs against me reminded me of the work incident in 2018 and the PTSD came flying back on top of the CPTSD. And that’s when I thought oh no. I’m going to have no capacity but because my intelligence is in the temporal lobe of my brain I’m about to have creative expression and switch randomly. I’m not bipolar though. If I was, they’d have picked it up by now. Normal people are too normal. Normal is boring. Just don’t expose or harm anyone. Only two words of advice I have. Create a blog like I have. Just don’t mention their names.

Plus if I do have bipolar type 1 associated with creativity, please remember that DESNOS/CPTSD is called bipolar type 1 in America as it’s not in the DSM.

When people accuse me of being a narcissist, what they’re really seeing is my ADHD. I see it in my dad. Not excusing his behaviours, but both narcissists and borderlines have undergone severe trauma, and I can almost guarantee they both have ADHD. It’s hard for an ADHD person to date a neurotypical. It never works unless they are very stable and grounded.

The mental health team said they do worry about Autistic individuals with complex trauma. Especially if ADHD is in the mix. They need to take neurodivergence very seriously. And complex trauma. But the issue is the governments would love to, but they don’t have the money. Our little island is in a lot of debt. It’s not good is it. I said no.

CPTSD is considered to be a mix of NPD/BPD traits with PTSD attacks hence both BPD and NPD symptoms manifest during a spiritual crisis. (But these traits are also in the PTSD handbook). That means NPD and BPD are both forms of childhood PTSD. I have CPTSD.