CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

Things I can’t understand.

  1. Why my siblings hate me that live where I do? What have a I actually done?
  2. My sister sent me a nasty texts a few years ago and said “do you remember when your dad did this and this?” Maybe I don’t want to remember: maybe I’ve just been fighting to finally live. Why do I have to be a human punchbag?
  3. Why the council were horrible to me the other day; despite my prolonged trauma. It set my CPTSD off again. Something I was effortlessly trying to manage and get under control. Then suddenly NHS Highland cancel my dietician appointment? I’ve lost 2 stone in a few months. My mum is trying to get my BPD label given back to me and she will try until she succeeds. Why? Because BPD is the only condition where you’re ignored so no one will listen to your truth.
  4. I wish the council didn’t intentionally try and hurt me. My mum won’t kill me in the way people think. She’ll kill me through manipulating the system. She will get her friends involved and say “she has bipolar and BPD”.
  5. I’m staying calm, having my PTSD attacks, and focusing on the PTSD workbook therapies. You won’t win at destroying me this time. Whilst you sprout “I have CPTSD”. No you don’t. Because DESNOS is CPTSD and it’s caused by prolonged psychological abuse from caregivers. my PTSD is separate.
  6. I will recover.
lifeinessence

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