CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

NPD isn’t what people think it is. It isn’t ideas of fames or success, it’s a trauma response. A brain illness.

I never became a narcissist myself – instead, I developed CPTSD. Unfortunately, CPTSD is often confused with PTSD when they’re two different conditions. Trust me, I know from experience.

I need a lot of psychotherapy. A lot of it. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t emotionally abused like that in 2018 because I remember the doctors saying “she’s gone through a lot in her life”. I sometimes wonder if I’m the INFJ phenotype. And I’m being watched. 7 years ago my brain changed. My dad’s lawyer friend called me and said “Please focus on yourself. You have two parents with severe mental health conditions, just focus on your PTSD, follow the advice of the police. You are safe, we know what you’re going through.” I phoned my dad and said am I the INFJ phenotype? And he said I can’t say anything sorry. What is going on? My dad said “don’t upset your mum. I’m mad at you for exposing us you know. My friends help me. I have tea in parliament with them. They help me.”

I didn’t do anything dad. When I was sectioned they said “Natalie, what happened as a child between the ages of 13-17”. And my body suddenly flew into PTSD attacks. On top of the standard PTSD. I didn’t even tell them anything.

I wish someone would tell me what I was built for. To find a cure for NPD? Well it’s a form of PTSD, just like BPD. Truth hurts, but it is.

Apparently I’m capable of recovering from psychological manipulation because I was raised by parents with serious mental health conditions. I might be able to recover from that, but the standard PTSD? That’s life long.

If only that was true. I can only hope. ❤️