CPTSD/Disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified

I also have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – which is a little bit different to my CPTSD.

PTSD is like a whole other universe. I analysed recently my PCL-5 score: It was 75 a few months ago, it’s now at 68. I am praying I can get the score lower to at least in mid-range scores. I’ve been allowing everything to rise to the surface with no medication at the moment as I know I am an empath. Not by choice. A real INFJ.

I developed differentiated consciousness after severe trauma. It only happens in 5% of trauma survivors and science is unable to explain it. If you want to know more about this you have to research Carl Jung’s spiritual awakening and the process of individuation. I have been in the process for seven years now. Unfortunately, because I have PTSD on top of the CPTSD, that has to be medicated which interrupts the process of individuation hence I was mad at that man. Who can blame me? I protected myself by remaining without many friendships and only getting to a relationship with someone who was strong enough to handle me without it affecting them.

I never wanted to be born an INFJ. I absorb others emotions and can read people’s intentions. It’s highly annoying. Because when they do intentionally hurt me when they trigger it externally, and I already knew what they were doing, and my spiritual crisis and access to the higher universe is triggered – they start panicking because of the “magical thinking” associated with PTSD, run away, then spread hate campaigns against me whilst I am just sitting there with my cup of tea, isolated in my room, rolling my eyes, and thinking “here we go again”. Yeah, don’t do that. Imagine time hopping through different time periods.

There’s three stages to the access of the higher universe:

Stage 1: Rapid cycling Bipolar mood swings

Stage 2: PTSD attacks/avoidance

Stage 3: Suicidal thoughts.

Stage 3 is the hardest to fight – because you’re fighting to survive. When you come out of it and stay strong, each time you access the higher universe, you will have more “superpowers” like a human surveillance system – analysing various systems of meaning. It’s a gift and a curse.

I am excited to start working with my social worker, and the mental health team to find ways to reverse the PTSD symptoms. I have my mindset on finding a treatment for PTSD. If anyone can, it’s going to be me. I am the experiment.